7 Wedding Night Disasters
Wedding nights aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be. Most people picture romance, candles, and the best night of their lives, but the truth is that there are many pitfalls that could inadvertently trip you up. These can lead to the seven most common wedding night ”disasters”, But, never fear, these “disasters” can be turned into mere inconveniences or even prevented altogether. Without a little planning, even a sex god or goddess will be stopped in their tracks.
If you are hoping that your wedding night goes off without a hitch, then you are likely hoping in vain. Like weddings, there is almost always something that could go wrong with your wedding night, whether it is that no one bought condoms or that your incredibly thin walls are shared with an elderly couple. The answer to overcoming these obstacles is affirmative action… and lots of laughter. For both of you, being able to laugh at your own mistakes is a great way to start off your marriage on the right foot. There are plenty of things that can go wrong, so let’s look at a few of them and at the best solutions for overcoming your wedding night disasters!
#1: Expecting Too Much
Your wedding is the day that symbolizes the beginning of your life together, and for that reason most people consider it one of the most significant moments of their lives. They might even call it the best day of their lives, but in reality that is often the most stressful.
Getting married (and dealing with a host of caterers, bridesmaids, musicians, and relatives) is exhausting. Don’t be surprised if by the time the reception is over you are ready to bolt for the door (and make a beeline for the pillow). In fact, it is perfectly normal to be extremely tired and ready to relax once you leave the reception hall. More couples than are willing to admit undress each other in their hotel room only to fall fast asleep on top of the covers.
If the you and your new spouse are both virgins (and even if you’re not), expecting a wonderful first time can also be extremely disappointing. The first time can be very painful for the bride, and if the groom is inexperienced then he may deal with premature ejaculation (which is perfectly natural). Even non-virgins who are usually excellent in the bedroom together may find that they are simply too exhausted or nervous to perform. It may make for a disappointing first night, but part of the fun of marriage is discovering one another and just cuddling is okay too. You have a whole life together.
Talk about these issues with your future spouse ahead of the wedding day when both of you are not stressed and under pressure. That will go a long way to understanding and being realistic about possible problems.
#2: Bad Timing
Time can be the source of another wedding night blooper. Once you get back to the hotel from the reception, you will probably be starving. If you think that you should be fine because you have eaten at the reception, think again. Even if you are not so stressed out that you can’t eat, you will be busy hopping up and down talking to relatives, accepting congratulations, dealing with the staff of the reception, and making yourself available for dances, tosses, and otherwise being the center of attention.
When you get back to your room, the first thing that many people want when they get to the hotel room is satisfying food, and room service is a great option. If you call for room service, however, the timing couldn’t be worse if you are engaged in a passionate embrace when room service arrives. If you are planning on eating in the hotel room, wait for the food to come before canoodling. Better yet, call ahead of time for room service so it can arrive as soon as you get to the room.
#3: Not Knowing the Hotel Details
Another bad wedding night mistake deals with the hotel room – or the lack of a hotel room. If you are planning on escaping from the reception and spending the night relaxing and enjoying each other, it is important to know exactly where you are going, and to have booked ahead to make sure that you have a room waiting for you. You should also know the check in times. Make sure that if the reception ends after the last check in time, either the hotel knows that you are coming late, or you or someone else checks in on time and has the key. If someone else gets your key for you, make sure that they give that and the room number to you before leaving the reception.
#4: Sharing your Hotel Information
If someone else checks you in, make sure that it is someone you trust to be discreet. There is absolutely nothing that will kill the mood faster than knowing that your family or friends are sleeping in the next room. Point them in the direction of a different hotel and resist the urge to let everyone know where you will be staying that night. Privacy is ideal for the wedding night, and the best way to get that privacy is to make sure that the ones you love are in their own space, and you in yours.
#5: No Birth Control
Once you are finally in your private space, did you remember to bring protection? Especially for people with no sexual experience, the honeymoon can seem like a mystery and birth control might just not be on your mind. If you haven’t planned ahead of time though you could have a frustrating evening. Talk to your doctor about contraceptive options.
For birth control on short notice, a drug store can help you out with several different kinds of birth control, including condoms. For other options planned ahead of time, consider the pill, an IUD, or other methods like the patch or the shot, all of which can be provided by the bride’s doctor. These will need to be administered well ahead of time.
#6: Painful sex
Once you are both ready to go, pain for the bride can be a big show-stopper. We know that it is supposed to hurt the first time, but if the pain is intense, it can be hard for the bride to even want to continue. Even if it isn’t your first time, sex can still be painful if you’re tense. The key to this is patience on the part of the groom. The groom will want to get his new wife relaxed, comfortable, and yes, aroused. He should be sensitive to her physical response and be prepared to pause if necessary. You can both snuggle and talk lovingly to each other and then start again. Both of you should be understanding to each other’s feelings and prepared to give snuggles instead of the intense sex you may have been anticipating. Remember, your next time will be much more fun!!
#7: Too Excited, Too Soon
Premature ejaculation can be just as embarrassing to the guy as being unable to take the pain of penetration is to a woman. If you are the bride and your man gets to the finish line a little (or a lot) early, be patient with him (whatever you do, don’t laugh at this one). Our advice: just softly smile at him with sultry eyes and enjoy the exquisite moment pressed against him. Don’t say anything about it unless he brings it up, in which case, just tell him how much you adore him. He may wish to please you with his hands or mouth or just spend some time kissing and cuddling. Remember, it was a long day for everyone! He’ll be ready to try again soon in most cases and will probably make it quite a bit longer the second time.
Getting through any wedding night disaster is all about being comfortable. You should be comfortable with yourself enough that you don’t become disheartened if things go wrong, and comfortable enough with your new spouse that the two of you can laugh together. Laugh away your troubles and present a united front rather than allowing things to come in between the two of you, and then your wedding night disasters will truly show themselves to be the minor inconveniences that they really are.