Sexual Intimacy: How to Talk to your
Groom or Bride about the Wedding Night
Are you feeling a bit jittery about your wedding night? Chances are that your spouse-to-be is too. The best way to calm your fears is to actually talk to your fiancé before the big day arrives, but some couples find it awkward to discuss matters of the bedroom. Here are some great tips on talking to your groom or bride about your wedding night concerns:
Tip #1: Schedule time for the discussion.
Some couples never talk about their wedding night simply because they don’t make time for the discussion. Scheduling is tough, especially in the few weeks approaching your wedding day. Chances are that you’re both working full time, and on top of that, you have to deal with caterers, florists, DJs, ministers, and tons of other people necessary for the big day to happen. You might not have a spare moment to think, let alone talk about sex on your wedding night!
The key is to use your wedding party to delegate errands and other tasks. They are your friends and family and they will want to help. Of course, not everything can fall on the shoulders of your best man or maid of honor, but when it comes to dropping off checks, picking up the cake, confirming appointments, and so forth, you certainly don’t have to do these tasks all by yourself. Hand out jobs to those you trust most. Then you and your soon-to-be spouse will have a dedicated block of time to sit down and talk about your wedding night as the wedding date draws nearer.
Tip #2: Be honest.
Being honest about sex is one of the most fundamental parts of making a relationship work. It is to your mutual benefit that you tell the truth about what you expect from sex on your wedding night and honeymoon. Even if the two of you have already been sexually active for some time, both of you should talk about expectations about your wedding night and honeymoon. If your wedding night is the first time for you to make love, it is especially important to talk openly with each other about anything that might be on your minds.
Tip #3: Talk about your sexual fantasies together.
Try sharing fantasies! Make a pact not to laugh at one another and then share your deepest darkest desires. Who knows? Sharing fantasies doesn’t mean that you have to act on them, but once you’ve talked about them, you can keep them in mind for your honeymoon. A blindfold or some toys might make your evening doubly enjoyable.
If nothing else, after you’ve gone through the embarrassment of bearing your soul, it won’t seem like such a big deal to talk about typical sex on your wedding night! Don’t avoid talking about sex simply because it makes your cheeks flush a bit. Simply talk in private and remember – this person will soon be your spouse. You should get used to feeling comfortable talking about absolutely anything.
Tip #4: Approach your fiancé during a non-stressful time.
Look for a day when he or she doesn’t have a million other things to do. For example, plan a date night together when you can set aside wedding planning and talk to him or her after a movie or dinner. When people are stressed out, talking about sex is not a good idea, especially if you are already having bedroom problems or if you are both super nervous about your wedding night encounters.
Tip #5: Plan for problems.
When you talk about your wedding night, discuss a few potential problems. What will you do if one person is really tired? What will you do if you’re drunk? Who is responsible for remembering the condoms? You can plan ahead for these things in order to make your wedding night glitch-free. Remember, however, that there will always be problems. Instead of setting your expectations extremely high, try to let things happen naturally. You’ll be less stressed out that way, and you’ll be better able to react to problems that do arise.
Communication is important in all parts of marriage and that includes sex. Discussing your wedding night can help you grow closer to your fiancé and, at the very least, can help you avoid problems stemming from miscommunication. Keep an open mind about what your bride or groom is expecting on your wedding night and try to come up with a plan that will work well for both of you.